I’m writing this final blog entry in the Summer of 2026. This space has been dedicated to and written by my husband Mickey. I wanted to leave this here for archival reasons.
My husband Mickey was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a couple years after his retirement, back in 2023… To complicate things just a little, he also has declining platelets for over 15 years, but in the past few years his numbers have declined even more. His hematologist calls it CMML-Type 1, a type of leukemia. These are just two reasons why he hasn’t contributed to this blog, which is something I offered to him to be able to share his thoughts since he enjoys writing. He is a good communicator, and was very successful in sales for these traits. The monthly blog gave him some focus in retirement to create (which he didn’t have time to focus on while working) and to also leave some legacy memories.
And here we are now, as he deals with memory challenges, more and more random infections and bleeds, diminished physicality, and just general mechanical aging issues. If you met him right now you might not know anything is “wrong” because his beautiful soul shines through. He presents as a really nice, good looking, older gent. Still golfing and driving, still kind and generous. His personality hasn’t changed a bit, except I have noticed some days he seems a little down. Is that the Alzheimers or just a lack of intense focus and identification with working now gone… hard to say...
He said to me recently that every time he tries to write now, he just gets stuck editing it, and doesn’t feel like his thoughts are clear, or that he can convey what he wants to. He gets bogged down mentally, and this frustrates him enough to abandon his writing projects.
He has also said to me more than once that he’d like to write about what’s happening inside his brain, to chronicle the experience he’s having. So he starts and stops, starts and stops. Repeat. This is the Alzheimers I suspect, although it’s different for everyone, the ability to follow through.
The physical and the mental houses have identified his nature. He goes. He does. His spiritual and emotional houses seem neglected and dusty. He doesn’t practice any prayer or meditation to get out of the mind. He’s a deep thinker but has no real sense of his higher self or divinity, or even the spiritual nature and connectivity of everything. This seems out of balance and after all these years he is now dealing with a mental and physical challenge, and has a harder time leaning back into his emotional or spiritual nature to help soothe his soul. If he can’t go and do, distract himself with something physical, he struggles with circular, repetitive thoughts.
Life is such a gift, especially if you make it to old age. We have grown children who are thoughtful and loving, and now seven grandchildren that we get to just love up without the same responsibility to raise them! I believe it can be harder to traverse this life without an awareness or understanding of something bigger than just ourselves. Letting our external experiences shape our reality without knowing who we really are, and what our particular mission on this Earth is, might be a little challenging for some. Others have chosen to not know and not be aware. It’s a choice.
I love this man. He is true blue. A pillar of Arcturian Light that doesn’t seem to be aware how he can heal a space just by being in it. He wouldn’t want the compliment, he’s averse to them. He is kind and generous and has never judged or doesn’t hold a grudge. Ever. Conversations and memories are disappearing for Mickey so I feel a little sad that some threads in our tapestry are frayed or have gone missing. I still honor his journey.
Thank you for reading some of his musings in the past, it has been lovely to hear his thoughts over the last few years. With love always, Sue